Black Bean Burgers

It's been a busy month, y'all!

I turned 22!

Got myself a dog!

Hello, Ellis.

And moved to P e t e r  S t r e e t.

It's a pretty magical situation over here on  P e t e r  S t r e e t .

A strident song of obstreperous sound fills the night!
It's a mentally ill rapper and sirens, mostly.

And porch sitting is still a thing!

 Judgmental old women hollering at me not to bother their cats, mostly.

Well. 

I broke my new kitchen in good, folks.

I made.....

Meatloafs, succotash, curries,

and vegan fudge on baked oatmeal,

spicy Indian squash, carrot slaw, and muffins,

tuna casserole, even!

But what do I post first??!?

Black bean burgers served on homemade whole wheat toast.

Leave No Scone Unturned

Have a good weekend, y'all?

Mine was pretty fun.

I went k a y a k i n g with my mom! Or I would have.

We arrived at the river (mini wine bottles in tow) 

and were promptly assessed by the check-in girl...

You out of shape bitches are not about to kayak down this river.

The water was too low for kayaking!!!!! 

For the more "inexperienced" looking guests, anyway.

Oh, well.

At least I got to see my mom!

We have fun, but I don't always e n j o y her brand of humor...

Often, it involves setting a plastic cockroach next to her drink at a restaurant,

waiting for the waitstaff to notice (and freak out),

then grinning from ear to ear.

Pleased as punch.

To save myself any extra exasperation, I fixed up some Oatmeal Peach Scones for breakfast.

They make life so easy!
Because of their shape (flat), they can be frozen and quickly prepared for breakfast in your toaster.

Roasted Olives & Okra

Greetings, y'all!

I'm extraordinarily enthusiastic about holidays. (Usually.)
Even dumb ones!
I built hats in the shape of a 100 for the centenary day of elementary school. (Every single year.)
.....

Something about celebrating the arbitrary really gets me e n l i v e n e d.

But this year was different.

For Independence Day, I watched The Last of the Mohicans.

Or tried to.

And don't even get me started on International Kissing Day.
Spoiler alert: I didn't make any tongue sushi.

I'm not alone though.

Even my s u c c e s s f u l roommate has trouble sometimes!

Once a girl told him she wasn't looking for a relationship.

Only she forgot to erase a New Year's Resolution written on her mirror....

2012: Acquire Relationship

Another friend had better luck! At first anyway...

She made it all the way through the first date to second base.
& things were heating up!

But then the gentleman apologized:

"Pardon my arousal." 

So, that was that. They went to sleep!

Disappointment sucks, so imagine how ecstatic I was when my experiment in cooking worked out.

I made a really swell dish y'all.

Roasted olives & okra are a little salty, a little umami, and totally toothsome.

Another dish you can enjoy hot or cold, and they would be great as toothpick trio skewers if you're into appetizers.

Not Really Bruschetta

Good evening, y'all.

Are you going to A t h f e s t tonight?? 

Everyone will be there. I'll be there!

And aaaaall the townies,

 dressed to the nines in 

   homeless-chic.

Do you know how expensive it is to look this poor?

Ah,  A t h f e s t . The biggest party this town has to offer.

.....................................................Well.

Have you memorized your lines yet???

You gotta have something to say, baby.

All the hipsters are gonna wanna know what you thought of that new Reptar album. 

&isn't Atlas Sound just, like, so alluring and distinct these days?? M e l a n c h o l i c . . ..

I haven't settled on what to say.

Perhaps, "It was o k a y, but...

they missed their chance to do something surprising."

But I do know one thing for sure:

I'm sooo making breaded eggplant "bruschetta" again.

(Topped with garlic lemon "aioli".)

The Lost City of Atlanta

How are things with y'all?

Remember my weekend spent in A t l a n t a visiting my parents? It was only yesterday.

A shining example for city planners everywhere.

By the time my two days were up, I felt like a real expert on A t l a n t a.
Thanks to the internet and my two days, I knew everything. 
I strutted around Piedmont Park, eyeing down groups of hipper-than-thou 20-somethings with gusto.
I made restaurant recommendations. 

I even gave a guy directions!

Just keep looking for Peachtree Street.

Folks, I was lost when I gave those directions. 

I sent a man and his child on a complete goose chase. 

I'm not sure why.

My overconfidence in my street smarts, aided by my overconfidence in my smartphone, leads to me getting lost a lot.

I come home, completely famished after wandering for hours.

In need of something quick.

I MacGyvered myself up a quick & relatively healthy pizza sandwich with deviled eggs.

Spicy & Sweet Potato Hash

Happy Father's Day, y'all!

Father's day is a tough time of year for me. Expectations are high when you've got two fathers.

Mine have everything. Two of everything. 

They forget about gift cards until they expire.

 Only eat v e g a n  f o o d.

Hmmmm. 

A real brain tickler, folks.

Perhaps I should skip the gifts this year? Perhaps just a visit. 

I could help them unpack from their recent move! We'd relax by the pool! Grill portobello burgers! 

It was a genius idea. Perfect!
So perfect, in fact, that all my siblings came up with the same plan. 

My dads live in a two-room condo in Midtown. With no furniture. 

What were you thinking young lady.

After a Saturday night in an unpacked and unfurnished condo with five other people, I longed for breakfast that did not need to be microwaved & eaten out of tupperware: Spicy & Sweet Potato Hash. 

Sriracha & honey make this hash taste much better than my poor photography skills can ever portray.

Somebody Call Pesto Corntrol!

Been doing any travelin' this summer, y'all?

Perhaps you've heard of the m e g a b u s?
Massive. Blue. Double-decked.

Filled to the brim with uncomfortable looking strangers ?

Just pretend like you're asleep.

I got well-acquainted with the m e g a b u s this summer.
Blinded by the prospect of cheap travel, I booked myself an 8$ round trip to Mobile, AL.

I was so proud of myself.

I was going to meet all kinds of worldly people riding the bus. 

We'd be friends forever!

The woman in the seat next to me was wearing thick purple socks over her shoes.

She was working on a journal entry titled "25 Ways to Kill Your Lover"

It was exhaustive.

Folks, I didn't make any friends on the m e g a b u s that day.

On the ride home, I sprawled across 2 seats.

Nobody sat next to me. I pretended to be asleep.

Dejected and alone, I was cheered by one thing:

I brought a baggie of Sunflower Pesto Corn Salad & ate it with a plastic Wendy's fork, 

no longer caring whether food accumulated upon my personage. Or in my teeth.

Berenjena el Almuerzo

Having a nice week, y'all?

I certainly am.
I went s a l s a  d a n c i n g last night. 
It was Cuban style.

"Woohoo!" I thought to myself.

"This will be fun. Easy!"

"Why, it' s only fancy walking!"

Not quite.

I was terrible. More terrible than anyone else there.

More terrible than my stiff, birdlike roommate Paul.

A girl actually asked him to dance with her!

Just when I thought I was finally getting the hang of it, the instructor would stare meaningfully at me and cheerily remind "everyone" that no one was perfect!

It just took time!

You're supposed to be turning right!

Other right!

Folks, I can't dance.
But I can make sandwiches!

I enjoyed this satiating eggplant sandwich to replenish all the energy I lost fumbling around the dance floor.

I also enjoyed an extra whiskey after exhausting my drink ticket.

I Can Hear the Mermaids Singing, Peach to Peach

Sleep alright, y'all?

I was not treated to a peaceful repose last night myself.

This is not why.

No. 

Convincing people into my rock hard, way-too-small 20 year old half of a bunk bed does not happen with alarming frequency. Obviously my bed is the only thing standing between me and a sex life.

Bunk beds may seem awesome, folks. 

(You can build hotwheel tracks off the top! Or drape blankets for a fort!)

But there is  an unavoidable reality  when it  comes to adults sleeping in bunk beds.

& it is stark.

Awesome bunk beds: a great way to appear as if you want to lure children into your home!

I needed something refreshing after a night in my horrible infirm (pun intended--old&hard???) half a bunk bed.

I needed a peach smoothie to brighten up my day.

And some peanut butter toast.

I love how the peach skin looks in the smoothie.

Silky Pasta

Bonjourno, y'all!

I've never had a taste for Italian food. Whenever its served, my countenance sours.
Oh. You got lasagna? Perhaps I could eat some old leftovers from your fridge? 
What did you have yesterday? Meatloaf?


Isn't Italian food just a delivery system for butter & cheese? 
...
What?

"No!", you say? "What about the vino", you wonder? "Polenta is basically grits", you'd remind me? "Surely you eat arrosticini fairly regularly?" you'd marvel?

Well, Grand Inquisitor, riddle me this.
It'd stump even Bilbo Baggins himself, I wager.

How do you explain the Olive Garden???

Oh, you can't? That's what I thought.

Folks, I know Olive Garden is not the only eatery proffering Italian-American fare. 
I am aware of the possibility that Olive Garden is not authentic Italian food.

I don't care. (I still don't want to eat Italian-style food okay.)

But there is one thing that really gets me jazzed about eating (anything) & that one thing is FREEBIES.

Man oh man do I like free shit.

One of the many personality traits I share with Oprah.

So when one of my brother's friends was moving out of his apartment, and inexplicably throwing his pantry out, I scored some egg noodles.

They had an Italian flag printed right on the box. "Made in Italy," they taunted me. 
Those noodles sat in my pantry forever. Well past the recommended use by date. 

Finally I used some of them last night.
I'll be dratted if I didn't enjoy those egg noodles down to the last bite.

I even ate an extra noodle I found while cleaning out my colander later that evening.

P-Cheese Sandwich

It's lunchtime again, y'all.

Or do you call it dinnertime? My relatives in Mississippi would call it that, but they wouldn't touch the lunch I made for myself.

No, sirree.

Whole wheat bread? Yuck.

But I ate it all up, and it was delicious.


.....

So what did I make????

A pimiento cheese sandwich with leftover lentil salad graced my plate this afternoon. I made the sandwich on whole wheat bread. 

(You aren't supposed to do that.)

(But I'm a rule breaker folks.)

Me & this dog are two rebellious peas in a pod.

Admittedly, the sandwich MIGHT have been tastier on honey wheat bread (Newman's own, my Daddy Bob's favorite by the way) or some wonderbread probably.

But y'all. That pimiento cheese sandwich was good. The cheese spread was good. Good enough to eat on 100% whole wheat bread. 

(With seeds in it and everything.)

Do you want to see?

Engorge Your Eggplant

What's good, y'all?

I love eating vegetables. I love putting them all in one dish and enjoying myself a veritable vegetable jamboree. 
(A poppin' produce party, a bountiful bacchanal!) 

So, stuffed vegetables are perfect for me--and you can stuff any vegetable you want, really!

Zucchini. Potatoes. Bell Peppers. Mushrooms.

Stuff 'em all, I say.

Right into my face.

Yesterday, I made a stuffed eggplant which is basically like a twice baked potato, but healthier and also better because

EGGPLANTS TASTE BETTER THAN POTATOES!

Listen to the ponies.

Yes, they surely surely do folks. 

So, I wrastled  myself up a basic recipe for stuffed eggplant and mutilated it appropriately. 

I was happy with the finale.

I love how the edges curl up. Check after the jump for my recipe!