Leave No Scone Unturned

Have a good weekend, y'all?

Mine was pretty fun.

I went k a y a k i n g with my mom! Or I would have.

We arrived at the river (mini wine bottles in tow) 

and were promptly assessed by the check-in girl...

You out of shape bitches are not about to kayak down this river.

The water was too low for kayaking!!!!! 

For the more "inexperienced" looking guests, anyway.

Oh, well.

At least I got to see my mom!

We have fun, but I don't always e n j o y her brand of humor...

Often, it involves setting a plastic cockroach next to her drink at a restaurant,

waiting for the waitstaff to notice (and freak out),

then grinning from ear to ear.

Pleased as punch.

To save myself any extra exasperation, I fixed up some Oatmeal Peach Scones for breakfast.

They make life so easy!
Because of their shape (flat), they can be frozen and quickly prepared for breakfast in your toaster.

Always Reddy Stew

Recovering nicely, y'all?

Ugh.
I got a little roughed up this weekend. At  A t h f e s t.

The heat was not favorable. 

& the depressants in my bloodstream didn't help my energy level.

But don't worry y'all, 

Reptar pepped me right back up.

[thanks Blane]

That crowd was wild. 
My life was on the line Friday night, folks.
The gentleman behind me was raging hard trying to mosh. 
(It involved  punching people mostly.)
& I nearly got crushed by rogue crowd surfers!

I needed some protection. 
In the form of dance.

I planted my feet and pretended to run in place. For protection.
Arms swining madly, I bore a striking resemblance to a drunk Richard Simmons.

The dance kept me safe, but I finished out the night exhausted. And so did my wallet.

Uninterested in cooking, 

and unable to go shopping with my meager bank account, 

I set to work inventively using up the things from my pantry.

Baked pumpkin pie oatmeal topped with peanut butter & cold-brewed coffee.

Fadulous Orange Oatmeal, Ossified

Beating the heat, y'all?

I've always been a sucker for f a d s. 

I lovingly cultivated a home for my lifeless pet rock.

Suffered scorn for my blinding orange crocs. 

(Until my mom, fearing they'd be caught in an escalator and I'd be maimed, banned crocs.)

I had a rainbow fanny pack emblazoned with my name!! 

An improvement over the goth phase.

Yes, my addiction to  f a d s  has deep roots y'all.

Aaaaall the way back to 1990. The year they closed the leaning tower of Pisa.

I'm not ashamed!

Food  f a d s  are alright, don't you think??

See also: cupcakes.

I noticed baked oatmeal popping up a while ago.

I was sold immediately. 
I was sold before I tried them. I became fiendishly addicted after I tried them.

Breakfast of the Year, All Years.

Extremely simple to make & customize, baked oatmeal  is just... awesome. It's like eating cake for breakfast, except good for you! 

Scoop some out every morning, top with nuts, drown it in milk, spread nut butter on it, or eat it warm, or cold, or with honey on top, and you're guaranteed to have a bangin' day.

Ugly Waffles

The rooster's crowing, y'all.

That doesn't always mean it's morning. This rooster is vigilant. Alert.

(Loud)

All day long.

Wake the fuck up.

But today it is morning. Ahhh. 

Refreshing. 

Another Georgia summer morning of relaxation, courtesy of the UGA Board of Regents.

They laid me off. Those bastards.

What are we gonna do with all this free time??

Make a time-consuming breakfast,  o f  c o u r s e.

And what could be more comforting on a still-rainy day than ugly waffles? Mmmm. One of my favorites.

One of my favorite healthy breakfasts, anyway.

I call them ugly waffles because they're sort of ugly. They're floppy. Spongey. Beige.

Moist.

They come out in a big pile, and I love them! It's because of the oat flour, folks. It soaks up liquid like you would not believe, especially if you don't cut it with other types of flour.

Which I don't, really. (well, maybe a little other flour)

Eggy and buttery, despite the omission of both yolks and butter, ugly waffles are always a fun way to start the week!

Dang Good Granola

Good afternoon, y'all.

Do you make your own granola?

Who, me?

I didn't, either until yesterday. I'm no authority on making granola. All I can say is this is a dang good recipe & I'm looking forward to making more.

This granola has fruit puree (applesauce) in it, which I think is just grand. Using fruit purees with no added sugar are a good way to cut back on the sugar you have to put in!

Each 1/4c serving of granola has 6g sugar.

Granola is fun because you can do whatever you want to it, and then you really feel like you have your own little recipe. Also, it makes your house smell good. Like, really good.
  (Useful for when the male strangers from craigslist you moved in with smoke a lot of dank weed).

No dried fruit because it's summer and you can eat it with fresh fruit, dummy.

Do you want the recipe?