Fadulous Orange Oatmeal, Ossified

Beating the heat, y'all?

I've always been a sucker for f a d s. 

I lovingly cultivated a home for my lifeless pet rock.

Suffered scorn for my blinding orange crocs. 

(Until my mom, fearing they'd be caught in an escalator and I'd be maimed, banned crocs.)

I had a rainbow fanny pack emblazoned with my name!! 

An improvement over the goth phase.

Yes, my addiction to  f a d s  has deep roots y'all.

Aaaaall the way back to 1990. The year they closed the leaning tower of Pisa.

I'm not ashamed!

Food  f a d s  are alright, don't you think??

See also: cupcakes.

I noticed baked oatmeal popping up a while ago.

I was sold immediately. 
I was sold before I tried them. I became fiendishly addicted after I tried them.

Breakfast of the Year, All Years.

Extremely simple to make & customize, baked oatmeal  is just... awesome. It's like eating cake for breakfast, except good for you! 

Scoop some out every morning, top with nuts, drown it in milk, spread nut butter on it, or eat it warm, or cold, or with honey on top, and you're guaranteed to have a bangin' day.

The Lost City of Atlanta

How are things with y'all?

Remember my weekend spent in A t l a n t a visiting my parents? It was only yesterday.

A shining example for city planners everywhere.

By the time my two days were up, I felt like a real expert on A t l a n t a.
Thanks to the internet and my two days, I knew everything. 
I strutted around Piedmont Park, eyeing down groups of hipper-than-thou 20-somethings with gusto.
I made restaurant recommendations. 

I even gave a guy directions!

Just keep looking for Peachtree Street.

Folks, I was lost when I gave those directions. 

I sent a man and his child on a complete goose chase. 

I'm not sure why.

My overconfidence in my street smarts, aided by my overconfidence in my smartphone, leads to me getting lost a lot.

I come home, completely famished after wandering for hours.

In need of something quick.

I MacGyvered myself up a quick & relatively healthy pizza sandwich with deviled eggs.

Spicy & Sweet Potato Hash

Happy Father's Day, y'all!

Father's day is a tough time of year for me. Expectations are high when you've got two fathers.

Mine have everything. Two of everything. 

They forget about gift cards until they expire.

 Only eat v e g a n  f o o d.

Hmmmm. 

A real brain tickler, folks.

Perhaps I should skip the gifts this year? Perhaps just a visit. 

I could help them unpack from their recent move! We'd relax by the pool! Grill portobello burgers! 

It was a genius idea. Perfect!
So perfect, in fact, that all my siblings came up with the same plan. 

My dads live in a two-room condo in Midtown. With no furniture. 

What were you thinking young lady.

After a Saturday night in an unpacked and unfurnished condo with five other people, I longed for breakfast that did not need to be microwaved & eaten out of tupperware: Spicy & Sweet Potato Hash. 

Sriracha & honey make this hash taste much better than my poor photography skills can ever portray.

Somebody Call Pesto Corntrol!

Been doing any travelin' this summer, y'all?

Perhaps you've heard of the m e g a b u s?
Massive. Blue. Double-decked.

Filled to the brim with uncomfortable looking strangers ?

Just pretend like you're asleep.

I got well-acquainted with the m e g a b u s this summer.
Blinded by the prospect of cheap travel, I booked myself an 8$ round trip to Mobile, AL.

I was so proud of myself.

I was going to meet all kinds of worldly people riding the bus. 

We'd be friends forever!

The woman in the seat next to me was wearing thick purple socks over her shoes.

She was working on a journal entry titled "25 Ways to Kill Your Lover"

It was exhaustive.

Folks, I didn't make any friends on the m e g a b u s that day.

On the ride home, I sprawled across 2 seats.

Nobody sat next to me. I pretended to be asleep.

Dejected and alone, I was cheered by one thing:

I brought a baggie of Sunflower Pesto Corn Salad & ate it with a plastic Wendy's fork, 

no longer caring whether food accumulated upon my personage. Or in my teeth.